"the local ex-rapist
the kids call 'the pumpkin'
scream as the drunks from
The Sports Bar come callin'
and they kick in his front door,
and they beat him down howlin'"
I lived across the street from the lead singer of that band at the time he wrote the song. These events must have happened while we lived there. They don't come as a surprise to me at all. Years back, when a house across the street caught fire, men were banging on doors over there and shouting to the people inside, but the only reason I bothered to go look was because the unintelligible shouting didn't include the word "whore" sporadically thrown in, so I knew something must be up. (Astounding how often it was followed by 'I can't believe you fucked my brother'...)
I grew up in that neighborhood and lived there several times after. I was glad to be out of it, though I have my doubts sometimes as to whether my new one is actually all that much better. It's getting so much harder to tell. When I see the news, or the things some people post on Facebook, I remind myself constantly it's not necessarily that things have gotten worse, but that we've gotten that much more informed. In the move toward a "global village", we aren't all sharing the palaces, we're all becoming more familiar with the shitty hovels. Journalists don't spend their days telling you about the wonderment and marvel of exciting and novel things on the other side of this incredibly large planet, places you'll never see and experience in your lifetime. They may occasionally, and I'm grateful for the friend whose daily contribution to my Facebook feed is a scientific discovery or medical breakthrough, but the reality is that we are daily bombarded with bad news we don't require, can't do much about, and which is bound to grind us down and depress us.
And so in many ways I work to cut myself off from the world. I try to refrain from reading comments sections on Youtube or news websites. I stopped playing MMO games long ago because there are simply too many idiots in the world and the ones who don't want me to affirm my faith in Jesus want to discuss gun control. I try to break my habit of checking the news online and yet find myself there daily, wondering what's going on in my city and taking assessment of how, if at all, it impacts me. My Facebook feed is heavily filtered but the truly awful things are precisely the things that everyone posts about, and prattles on about, and eventually start arguing about.
I was both dismayed and pleasantly surprised these past few days by the events in Ottawa where a lone arsehole shot and killed a reservist, Cpl Nathan Cirillo, Something was just a little different in the news coverage, at least the coverage out of Canada. Something small, but significant. Something that represents a hopeful shift, to my thinking.
In April of 2007, I wrote about Liviu Librescu. I wrote that I wanted to live in a world where some arsehole with a gun gained no notoriety, but it was the heros names that were held up, passed around, published and praised. I knew the name of Sergeant-at-Arms Kevin Vickers before I heard the name of the worthless shit with the rifle. I've seen the names of Cirillo and Vickers throughout my Facebook feed and headlining new articles or blog posts. I've seen their pictures, and heard a little about them, and was treated to a video of Vickers going back to work the next day to a standing ovation from the House of Commons, where the Canadian government, refusing to be intimidated by the cowardly act of this whackjob, resumed its work. Credit where due: it's a step in right direction. I honestly do not know the name of the shooter. I don't want to.
It's hard not to be a little worried or saddened by what transpired, and I remind myself, as I often do in the face of bad news, that my goal, ultimately, is to surround myself with the right people, and the right conditions, to strive to find happiness and contentment, and to share it with as many of those as possible. I have no delusions of grandeur. I have no consuming career aspirations. I want to live a comfortable and happy life surrounded by friends and family and retire somewhere peaceful and quiet (and with high speed internet so I can Skype my friends). My biggest accomplishment this year will be the basement rec room Liza-Ann and I created (with much help from friends, especially Chris), for the enjoyment of the simple pleasures of board/card/video games with friends, my favorite pass-time in the world. My most cherished memory in recent weeks came when I asked Olivia if she could remember being one, a time before I came into her life.
She said no, and smiled, and put her head on my chest.
"and when we die
oh no, the prices won't rise
and everyone will fit in the church just fine
but if we're standing close
then the world is good
look, the world is good
look, the world is good"
