"I am the man, that's what I am
I'm a straight shooter, with a master plan
I am the man, that's why I'm here
I am the man, I am the man"
I'm a straight shooter, with a master plan
I am the man, that's why I'm here
I am the man, I am the man"
I was lying on the bed with my shirt open when Liza-Ann came in and lay alongside me with her head on my shoulder. She sighed and said, "You smell good. Must be your deodorant. Manly." Then spying a straight hair by my left nipple, she laughed and said mockingly, "Oooh, a stray hair! Should I grab the tweezers?"
I laughed and told her it'd make the blog.
The world is getting more complicated.
That's a lie, actually. But it's a convenient lie that we like to tell ourselves. The way we view certain things... that is certainly more complicated than ever. That much is true.
It really shouldn't be. It doesn't need to be. This ever-increasing complexity is mostly borne of mankind's desire to classify everything and put it into nice tidy little boxes, even binary check-boxes where able, so that the world is easier to understand, despite the fact that life is ... well, messy. Mother nature doesn't particular give a shit when biologists do a whole pile of cataloguing only to arrive at the duck-billed platypus and throw up their hands in frustration. ("Eggs? Mammary glands but no teats?! What the fuck?!"). Mother nature just goes on puttering about and doing her thing, while the puny humans angrily debate what's "natural" and invent new terms like "hetero-normality". Mother Nature? D.G.A.F. We're the ones with the "problems".
With this modern complexity comes a lot of confusion. You don't have a one-hour conversation and walk away feeling you have a grip on this new world order. Most often, you come away with more questions than answers. So for me, my "problem" of late is about masculinity. It has been in the back of my mind off and on for the past few months. What is 'masculinity'?
In a "post-Caitlyn-Jenner-world", what makes one 'a man'?
Masculinity is not the simple thing it once was. I've been spending a lot of time these days thinking about men in the modern era, about what it means to be 'manly'. Long gone is the era of John Wayne, of the constant references shows like Three's Company made that anything construed as feminine was signaling homosexuality, and of the expectation that every man over 18 knows what a carburetor is and how to fix one. (I, on the other hand, had to look up how to spell "carburetor" just now.)
Going back a generation or two, it was a simple matter of organs. That was in a time when everyone lived with the misconception that mother nature was perfectly binary about what she handed out and that brains always matched body-parts. Has testicles equals man?
"Testicle" comes from the Latin "testiculus", meaning "witness of virility". "Virility" - from "virilitas", Latin for "man"- is defined as the collection of positive masculine traits.
Well there we have it right from Wikipedia. Simple, right?
I laughed and told her it'd make the blog.
The world is getting more complicated.
That's a lie, actually. But it's a convenient lie that we like to tell ourselves. The way we view certain things... that is certainly more complicated than ever. That much is true.
It really shouldn't be. It doesn't need to be. This ever-increasing complexity is mostly borne of mankind's desire to classify everything and put it into nice tidy little boxes, even binary check-boxes where able, so that the world is easier to understand, despite the fact that life is ... well, messy. Mother nature doesn't particular give a shit when biologists do a whole pile of cataloguing only to arrive at the duck-billed platypus and throw up their hands in frustration. ("Eggs? Mammary glands but no teats?! What the fuck?!"). Mother nature just goes on puttering about and doing her thing, while the puny humans angrily debate what's "natural" and invent new terms like "hetero-normality". Mother Nature? D.G.A.F. We're the ones with the "problems".
With this modern complexity comes a lot of confusion. You don't have a one-hour conversation and walk away feeling you have a grip on this new world order. Most often, you come away with more questions than answers. So for me, my "problem" of late is about masculinity. It has been in the back of my mind off and on for the past few months. What is 'masculinity'?
In a "post-Caitlyn-Jenner-world", what makes one 'a man'?
Masculinity is not the simple thing it once was. I've been spending a lot of time these days thinking about men in the modern era, about what it means to be 'manly'. Long gone is the era of John Wayne, of the constant references shows like Three's Company made that anything construed as feminine was signaling homosexuality, and of the expectation that every man over 18 knows what a carburetor is and how to fix one. (I, on the other hand, had to look up how to spell "carburetor" just now.)
Going back a generation or two, it was a simple matter of organs. That was in a time when everyone lived with the misconception that mother nature was perfectly binary about what she handed out and that brains always matched body-parts. Has testicles equals man?
"Testicle" comes from the Latin "testiculus", meaning "witness of virility". "Virility" - from "virilitas", Latin for "man"- is defined as the collection of positive masculine traits.
Well there we have it right from Wikipedia. Simple, right?
A few years back, I had a vasectomy. I don't recall exactly when. I'd meant to put something vague on Facebook about listening to the "Fixed" EP by Nine Inch Nails as a sort of tongue-in-cheek joke to others and a timeline reminder to myself. It was, at one point in the process, a sort of surreal experience: the male doctor performing the surgery is the sort who drives a convertible, wears sandals to work, and sports a tan that makes him look like he's just returned from California. There was a female doctor attending him. As I lay there, I thought, 'what a strange juxtaposition this must be for her - this doctor-with-possible-god-complex symbol of masculinity to the left, and me lying splayed out on the table before him, about the most vulnerable a man can be, on the right.'
What about if there are injuries? I know a guy who lost a testicle in an accident. Does having a vasectomy change anything? Am I less of a man because I'm "fixed"?
Maybe it's not testicles. Maybe it's just the testosterone? What about those of us who are middle-aged and feeling the effects of lower testosterone? Less of a man? What about trans males who weren't born with testicles and get their testosterone through injections? What about hypogonadism and testosterone replacement therapy in Mixed Martial Arts fighters? I certainly wouldn't want to be the one who stands in front of one and tells him he's not as much of a man any more.
Fist fights! I've been in those. But then, I know plenty of guys around me I consider "men" who I know have never been in a fight. And I probably lost about as many as I won.
Scars! Oooh! I have scars. Do they still count if most of them are scratches that just came from owning cats? The burn mark came from... cooking... we're still good, right? I've been fortunate enough to never hurt myself with power tools, but I do own some! Does that means there's still hope for me?
Hair on the chest? Shit, I've never had much of that. The few stray ones that do pop up I pluck because I hate body hair and I notice them getting out of the shower, thus Liza-Ann's joke.
Beards! I've never in my life grown a full beard. I hope it's not that.
How about a set of large, rough, calloused hands? Hmmm. If you've ever watched me doing origami, you'll know I'm sporting a pretty dainty little set of fingers. And more than half of what I make is flowers.
Is it about being aggressive or outspoken? My parents taught me to be polite, and I'm often shy around strangers. Should I be louder and ruder to assert myself as male? That hardly seems right. That combined with notions about sexual conquest are how society produces the likes of Brock Turner. Nah, fuck that.
I was never that much into sports. I'm not a big fan of beer and only have the occasional whiskey. I think I've only ever changed a car tire once and unless you count headlight bulbs don't think I've ever "fixed" a car. I've no interest in fast cars, and I've never owned a motorcycle. I've no desire to own ski-doo, and no compulsion to buy a pickup or quad. I don't own a firearm and don't want to. I've never shot and killed anything. I can't say I've hunted unless you count that one time I threw a knife at a squirrel.
I've mowed lawns...
You know what? I've clearly reached that point where I'm just struggling to even find things to put on the list, and none of them are much sticking to me anyway.
Maybe I'm not a "man" after all, or at least not a masculine one. I'm not a "manly man". Can't be. Don't qualify.
Obviously.
I'm rather uncertain what masculine means any more.
But then, I am only half certain I care what masculine means any more.
And I'm damn near certain I shouldn't care what masculine means any more.
