It will consist of four simplified Chinese characters, a passage taken from the Tao Te Ching, one of my favorite quotes and in honor of my father. I've read many translations for this passage, though the sentiment always remains the same, and the one in a frame on the wall of the den has it as:
"Manifest plainness; embrace simplicity"
In the original text it was in traditional Chinese of course, so the version I've picked takes it a little out of context, but given what it says, using the simplified form seems even more fitting. That said, I had a chuckle this morning when I realized that, taken out of context, it could also be construed as my having "treehugger" written on my chest.
The last of the four symbols is pu: 朴. It translates as "the uncarved block" (or sometimes "tree"). "The Uncarved Block" is an important symbol in Taoism. 'Pu' means simplicity or purity, and is a reference to our 'pristine selves' before the experience of the world shapes and changes us. When I wrote about my father following his death, I spoke a little about this Taoist ideal of "forgetting" as a path to enlightenment. It's not the forsaking of knowledge so much as it is the forgiveness of slights, the reduction of complexity, an attempt to return to a child-like acceptance of the world as it simply is. Keep things simple. Find joy in simple things. It is an effort (or an effortless-effort, but that's a discussion for another day) to forgive, to forget, and to dispense with the various prejudices we've accumulated over a lifetime. It is to put the past in the past and to live in the present, looking forward to the future.
Most people have a difficult time with that, of course, and most of us, in thinking of ourselves as 'the sum of our experiences' think of that sum as a good thing. But if some of those experiences are bad ones - vague, confusing, unpleasant, mistaken, unfortunate - then that sum must surely include a lot of things we're better off forgetting (and forgiving), and not necessarily as a gesture of goodwill toward those we feel have wronged us, but as way forward for ourselves toward happiness and tranquility. Something I've often said to myself silently at difficult times (I don't recall where I found it. Maybe I made it up?): "If we fill our hearts with hate, what room is there for love?"
I've been using the story of The Monkeys and the Hose at work lately as a metaphor for how, particularly within a large corporation, certain processes become ingrained and people become very resistant to change. In the work that I do, the social resistance is often a bigger hurdle than any technical one.
But last night, as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling and waiting impatiently for the sandman to find me (he was late, very late), I found myself thinking about those monkeys in terms of human relationships. Often, people find themselves in unpleasant, uncomfortable, or all-out "dysfunctional" relationships. And often people stop to wonder how they got there. "An inch at a time," I say. Relationships are like journeys, and lengthy relationships are like long journeys. It's not uncommon to wake up one day and feel like you're a long way from where you were, or where you hoped to someday be.
[Note: In the interest of nipping any false rumors in the bud, Liza-Ann and I are happy, and right where we want our relationship to be. :) Ok, thanks.]
But if we are the sum of our experiences, often - as with the monkeys - experiences we've assimilated without even truly understanding, then our relationships must be the sum of our shared experiences, good and bad, and again even those we didn't understand or cannot clearly recall. Perhaps you don't like someone and can't even clearly remember why. Perhaps someone gives you the cold shoulder, and neither of you know why.
We're just dry monkeys, scratching our heads and wondering where that uncarved block is. Can we get back? Should we go back?
The Dalai Lama believes that compassion is the ultimate key to relieving all human suffering, but if you've spent decades "learning" from shared misunderstandings, how far is the journey back? If one has the desire, and if one mustered the courage and compassion to make the trip, and if both worked together, would it take as long... "back"... as it did..."forward"?
"Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start"
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start"
